What to Do...What to Do????

I've thought about closing my blog.

I don't want to do that, sometimes this is the only thing that keeps me sane. Yet I have lost interest.

I seem to no longer have much time to comment or visit your blogs, not because i don't have the time but because ...

I no longer feel much happiness in my life, almost like there is no hope.   I have no interest in doing anything. 

I'm sad all the time and don't know how to cope...yet I have to go on.

I'm OVERWHELMED with my father's declining health and not knowing how to handle it. I feel so alone.

I can't even explain it correctly.

So for now, I'm going to let the blog sit here and if I can post, I will and if I can visit you I will.

If you think of me....please say a prayer that my Mom and I will get through this chapter of our life.

Thank you my friends. I'm sorry I had to try to tell someone how I feel. 


Comments

You do seem very down andif must be very difficult for you adn your mother ealing with your Fathers ill health. Try and get out into the fresh air every day and go for a walk. Blog when you can and feel like it. Relax listening to peaceful music if you can. I will be thinking adn praying for you. it is always good to talk so even if you wish to do that on blogger, we will listen.
Sandra said…
I ask the Lord to give you strength to go through what is troubling you and to lift you and your mother up and fill you with peace as you struggle. we will be waiting to hear from you when/if you need to talk to someone... hugs to you and your mom
Debby Ray said…
Oh my sweet friend...I am so sorry to hear about these difficulties you are facing right now. You know that I love your photos and you have such a talent. I know people are blessed by the photos you post...I know I am. But you must do what you need to do that is more important than blogging. I know you must have already prayed for an answer and if you feel the Lord is telling to put things on hold for now, then maybe that is what you need to do. Blogging should never become more important than the serious matters of life....it is an outlet for creativity and making sweet connections with those of like minds. You have to do what you feel is best and that might mean just posting whenever you have the time, but to not let posting consume you or take you away from the things that need your attention. I am sorry about your father and his health issues...the Lord knows all about it and He will help you and your mom get through this! Whatever you decide is totally between you and Him. I will be praying for you Felicia!
Britta said…
Ohhh Feli,
I am unhappy.... But its OK.
But you're not alone! So many people like your photos!
Blog when you can and feel like it and not because you need it.
I wish you all the best and can overcome your sadness!
I wish you lots of strengh! All good and love for your father and your mother!
Hugs and kisses and best regards from Hamburg
Britta
eileeninmd said…
Hello Felicia, I would not worry about the blog right now! You and your family is much more important. Sending my prayers and hugs for you, your mom and your dad! Take care, we will be here when you are able to return!
Marco Luijken said…
Hello Felicia,
Blogging is certainly not an obligation. Do it when you feel like it.
Try nice to go out or take a break and enjoy life.
I hope you will be better soon. Good Luck Felicia!!

Big kiss, Marco
barbara l. hale said…
I'm sorry for what you are going through. My mother is also in failing health and it is difficult. I understand that it is difficult to try to be creative while you are feeling these feelings. My thought are with you during this difficult time and I hope that things work out for all of you. I hope to see you now and then on here. Take care!!
I understand your feelings- and they are perfectly normal. Don't worry about your blog or visiting. Sending prayers for you and your parents.
Revrunner said…
Blog when you feel like it. Sometimes it helps.
Karen S. said…
Right now you shouldn't close any doors. When you suffer emotionally jumping to the idea that if we do, things will be better. They won't. I've been there with both of my parents, first the health decline, and now to go on everyday without either. We/YOU must go on, your parents wouldn't want you to be empty and lost. Day by day is all you can do. Keep your blog and I'm sure there will be days you pop on and get lost in other thoughts (like a mini vacation for your brain) and don't forget to keep others in your life. You need all the support you can during these times. Take it from me, who has been in your shoes, and thank goodness for all the loved ones and friends in my world, especially animals, that I didn't throw in the towel! You'll be in my thoughts, sending you waves of happy!
Blogoratti said…
Hello, as you go through these trying times I wish you strength to be able to cope, and wish your father a speedy recovery. Stay strong and all the best.
Kay Anthony said…
The answers to all of life's ups and downs, life in general, is believing in Jesus as the Son of God and saying yes to His invitation to walk with Him. When we do this we are able to climb up on His lap, are able to feel His perfect peace and know that He is in charge and see the big picture of our lives. It gives up a new perspective, it let's us have a place to turn with our pain of losing someone we love so much. It allows us to know there will be joy and happiness when we finally travel through the lose.
Know that I am praying for you and your mother, for your father as he lives out his last days.
Dear Felicia, that sounds like a heavy depression. I know the feeling, I have it myself. There are many days when I think, why doing all this? The next day it might be the other way around. I keep blogging, because this way I do have some contact to the world around me. If I don't feel like it I don't post anything. I'm not an every day blogger anyway, that would make me a fulltime blogger ;) But I find it wonderful for a certain time of the day to look at other peoples blogposts. I might not be able to comment because I don't have the energy, but looking at beautiful pictures like yours sure helps me alot.

Did you realise that all your statements above are negative? I know, that's exactly how you feel at the moment. But I have an idea to make life a bit more beautiful for you. Every night, before you go to bed, think about your day. If there was anything negative talk about it with your mom or a friend. But talk, let it out. If you prefer to tell it to a stranger, here I am, send me an email with all your worries :)Don't worry, I won't tell anyone anything about it.

When you're done with the negative things, think about the positive things. Write them down in a beautiful journal you like looking at and to hold in your hands. Positive things can be: a smile from a stranger, a beautiful flower on your way to work and so on. If you've managed to take a beautiful macro shot, print it out and put it in there. Any nice article in a magazin that makes you smile - cut it out and put it in there. And everything else that makes you happy - put it in there :)

Remember, this is not your diary, only positive things are allowed in your journal. And whenever there comes a time you feel totally unhappy again, get your journal and read. Should make you feel much better!

I'm really sorry to hear about your feelings and your worries. Don't know what's wrong with your dad, but it sounds as if he slowly says goodbye. Use this time, talk with him about the good old times, ask him questions you always wanted to ask but never did, if he's still able to answer them. I didn't ask those questions to my mom, now she's gone and I'll never get an answer, I deeply regret that. Once you find out more about his life you'll find out that he had a wonderful life, maybe he even had some dreams come true. That should make you feel better when the day comes that he passes away.
And he's not leaving you and your mom - he's just finishing his life here and will start another one somewhere on a green hill with lots of butterflies and a little creek. You and your mom will have to go on with your life without his presence but he'll always be with you in your mind, I'm sure. Be happy that you could share a long way together, remember the wonderful things you shared and write them down into your beautiful journal. It really helps, I'm doing it myself.

And I'm glad you told your problems in public, now everyone who reads your blog knows about you and your feelings and won't turn his back on you because you don't visit anymore or don't publish anything anymore. That's nothing to be sorry about, that was the best thing you could do!
Maybe your mom wants to have a journal of her own too? :) She might have some sweet memories in a box which might look good in that positive book? Ask her :)

Your dad's life on earth is coming to an end, I wish for him to be able to pass away without pain. And I wish you and your mom all the strength and energy you need in this hard time and the time after.

Here is a big hug from me to all three of you and a few smacks :))
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thinking of you
your friend Möwe

PS: That rose is soooo beautiful, thank you for sharing! :)

Brian King said…
Prayers for you and your family!
Michelle said…
Dealing with our parents declining health is a hard stage of life. We all go through it, but it isn't easy. Prayers for you and your mom.
Sending you Big hugs and lost of prayers for you your mom and your dad Felicia

It is hard and there are no words that can make it any more easier, I know.
But know that you are loved by many and we will be right here when you find the time for it again
please do not close your blog
HUGS
Brenda
Bill said…
Your name means happiness. That can be hard to live up to. Remember there is no obligation to produce a blog post every day, or to respond to ours. As someone commented, we will be here when you do, and I'm sure many of us will still be thinking of you when you don't. A big hug from -Bill
Bethany Carson said…
We love you and will be praying for you and yours, Felicia. The beautiful photos you post have brought brightness into many of our days.
Rose said…
I will add you and your mom to my prayer list...I so feel how you feel. Like life is such an effort. Don't worry about blogging, unless you feel like it.
It's hard to put on a happy face when you are dealing with such a sad and difficult situation. You need to take care of what is important and be extra kind to yourself. We will be here whenever you feel like blogging. Sending you hugs and prayers. xo Karen
The Furry Gnome said…
After losing our older son this spring, I think I know how you feel. It's really tough going forward, and you have to work hard at that for the sake of other family. I'll be sending thoughts and prayers your way.
GreenComotion said…
Not sure what to say except this too will pass - hang in there the best you can.
Warm regards,
C
Stephanie said…
I feel your sadness through your words. It is hard to keep going when someone close to you is ill. I understand as my mom is not well. And she lives a 4 hours drive from me. Sending along hugs and hope you can get by one day at a time. Hugs!
Linda W. said…
I'm so sorry about your father. Dealing with ailing parents is tough. By all means your family should come first. Blog when you can, but don't feel bad about the times you can't. We'll be here when you're ready to return.
Paul said…
Oh please don't close your blog down, your photos are a breath of fresh air!

If you don't post for a time or come to visit our sites as often we'll all understand.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. One day at a time, things will get better though it may take a little time.
Felicia, I'm so sorry you and your family are going through rough times right now. Sending healing energy to your Dad, strength to your Mom and a shoulder to lean on to you my friend. Wish I could do more, keeping you and yours close in my heart. Deb xo
Weekend-Windup said…
Don't worry Felicia. Your father's health will get well soon. Will keep in my prayers. I have hope you will continue blogging...
Gunilla Bäck said…
I'm so sorry about your father's declining health. Don't worry about blogging or visiting our blogs. Take care of your self and your family. Many big hugs to you!
Trace4J said…
Im so very sorry sweet friend, but I do understand.
Ive been there and the hole feels soo large.
And yep hopeless.
Thankfully when we keep our eyes on HIM everything is not overnight ok..
But glimmers of hope strength and peace are found.
And sometimes it takes awhile.He will carry us through the hardest times.
I am praying for you & your sweet MOM.
BIG GIANT HUGS & LOVE
Your woolie friend..
Me
You and your mother are in my thoughts, Felicia!
I went through a difficult period last summer and couldn't be bothered with the blog. I decided to give myself a few weeks off that turned into three months. I lost all my followers and wasn't sure I had the energy to restart. And now I've grown to love my blog and new blogging friends and am in a much better place. I suppose what I'm trying to say is don't force yourself, take as much time as you need, we'll be here when you are ready to blog again. Take care of yourself and your family.
A hug,
Amalia
xo
Gert said…
Oh FeliCa, I'm so sorry to hear about your father. But please know you are all I my prayers. And never feel bad about talking to us about this. I'm here to listen and comment with a helping hand whenever I can. Don't worry about getting over to my blog...I totally understand. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Blessings,
Gert
Primitive Stars said…
Oh sweet friend, I feel so bad for you feeling like that. I will miss you terribly, your one of my first blogging friends and as you know not many are left. Sending prayers you find some comfort, if you ever feel like talking, I am hear to listen, I have big shoulders. Hugs Francine.
Cindi said…
Sending you tons of prayers and gentle hugs! I will be here when you return!
Be blessed,
Cindi
Oh Felicia, hang in there darlin'. .... It is such a hard time, I was t blogging when I went through that with my parents ( I'm not sure the Internet had even been invented then yet ;))). But I think it would have helped to have a " happy place" which is what I think of my blog is. In fact, we've been through some health issues (not as serious as your dads I think) but times when Bill was ill or in hospital even ... And the blog has given me a reason to go outside, go for a walk, clear my head... I would think, I m tired, I'm worried, I don't want to go out, but then I'd think, but I really do want to make a post. So I would go out. Blogging provided the incentive.

On the other hand, I'm old and retired, with nothing else to do. I think I know that you have a job so you do have another thing to think about... So I can see blogging might just be too much.

Whatever you decide, do know that all your virtual friends are thinking of you and wishing the best for your dad and mom too.
Christine said…
Dear Felicia

It is good you have shared this as we do care and will pray for you and your loved ones.
The best advice I can give from one Christian to another is Gods Word, " Casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you."
Hugs
Christine
Pamela Gordon said…
Dear Felicia, I'm so sorry to hear of what you're going through right now with your dear father and mother. I completely understand your feelings about blogging and life in general at such a time. We'll be here when you are able to return to blogging....and I hope you do as I love your photographs. God bless you with His peace and comfort and strength.
Hugs,
Pam
pattisjarrett said…
So sorry to hear of your father's health struggles, and your attempts to cope with them. This is a hard place to be, many of us have walked, or are walking, this familiar road. I hope you'll keep your blog, for one day, hope will return and you will once again find joy in the beauty that surrounds you--beauty for ashes. Blogging is a community of sorts, friends visiting on a regular basis from near and far. Thank you for opening your heart to us, sharing your burden so that we may lift you up on the wings of prayer. “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’
Marie C said…
This post made me so sad. I hate to hear that you have no happiness nor hope in life. The struggle of caring for an ailing parent can be devastating, but there are so many people who care about you and your mother....people you know, people you may have yet to meet who are having similar experiences, and people who enjoy your blog. Hang in there, and trust God for Strength and Comfort and Wisdom. His perfect will will one day be made evident in all of this, even though right now all you see is sadness and despair. I will keep you in prayer. Lots of love. I look forward to future posts!!!!

Your blog friend, Marie
ak-ut said…
take care, felicia, be kind to yourself in these rough times. we are here when you're able to return. hug and kiss, wishing you all the best
xx anja
Boa tarde, desejo recuperação rápida dos seus queridos familiares, quando ao blog, mantenha-se por cá e partilhe coisas lindas com os seus visitante, não tem obrigação de visitar outros blogs, visite quando poder e quando tiver motivação, certamente que todos compreendem.
Tenha calma e tente ficar bem.
Abraço,
AG
Helma said…
Hello dear Felicia,

Sometimes grief makes you feel lonely. The disease your parents also makes it difficult. You can not be content or happy. Let your blog rest and try to keep your wits about you. it is geod you told the host. A lot of strength and a big kiss.
ladyfi said…
Oh gosh - so SORRY to hear this! I think there are many of us that sometimes feel like closing our blogs - or at least - for a while. I'm struggling with my parents' health issues so can sympathize with how you must be feeling. Hugs!
Gail Dixon said…
Felicia, I am so sorry your are going through this! If I've learned anything about blogging, it's that the community is very close-knit and helpful. Reaching out is a good step toward healing and finding strength. I went through a similar situation with my mother a few years ago. Prayers and my blog kept me propped up for a long time. Praying for peace and healing for you and your family.
maryaustria said…
I'm so sorry. Don´t worry about the blog, take your time! All my best wishes for you and your family!
It makes me so sad to hear what you're going through. Of course I will pray for you all! I've battled with depression myself so I understand the feelings your having. I hope you and your mother can find solace in each other and in whatever brightens your day, if just for a moment. Big hug!!

/Scaniatjejen
www.scaniatjejen.se
What Karen Sees said…
I add my prayers and best wishes to those above. It is hard to deal with the challenges we must face in live, but I want you to know that I believe God is in the heavens and he knows of your struggles and will bring you peace and comfort if you turn to him. I also know that this, too, will pass, and you will become an even stronger, more compassionate person as you overcome these current challenges. Love and hugs, Karen
Valerie said…
Dear Felicia, PLEASE don't close down your blogsite - just let it sit until you feel prompted to post and share again. As you must surely see from the comments preceding mine, your images have brought joy to many and hopefully there will be many more to come in due course, but no pressure to do so.
So very sorry to hear of your overwhelming sadness and the reason for it - along with many others, I shall be praying for God's comfort for you and your family.
I understand the grief you must be experiencing - my dearest friend (who is like a sister to me) has Parkinson's and Dementia; watching helplessly as her life deteriorates before our eyes is positively heartbreaking. However, we believe that almighty God has His purposes and plans for the lives of everyone and in the meantime we focus on trying to add value to her life with each visit. Lots of hugs to help you get through this devastating ordeal.
Stopping by to check on you- sending prayers for you and your mom, too.
save one said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
PerthDailyPhoto said…
So sorry to read this Felicia.. will send positive thoughts your way and hope that light at the end of the tunnel shines through in the near future. I must say I've been having difficulties focusing myself since my nephew's wife was killed in a tragic car accident last month leaving him a single dad with two devastated young children.. Life is unbelievably hard at times, you are so lucky to have a strong faith, I don't find it easy to believe in a benevolent presence when dreadful things happen to good people.
Cynthia Chapman said…
Lifting you up to the Lord. I think as bloggers, casual bloggers, we go in spurts. Post when you can...love ya!